Transform Resolutions into Sustainable Identities for the New Year

The ball will drop. The clock will once again strike midnight and countless individuals will clink their champagne glasses. People will exchange kisses and merriment. Amongst the excitement, aspirational chitter-chatter for the upcoming year will be divulged. New Year’s resolutions will be announced, ushering in a new year filled with hope and enthusiasm. New Year's day shines light on a “can do” belief that permeates our thoughts and feelings of motivation inspire our spirits. The drive to do something different this year becomes our motivator.

And yet, once again our excitement will wane. Our enthusiasm will dwindle as the days, weeks and months go by. Leaving us feeling defeated and unmotivated. The shame, guilt and torment will take root and we will beat ourselves up for not staying committed to the big goals we claimed at the turning of the year.

I don’t think it’s worth it. The excitement of the resolution isn’t worth the cost of defeat when the aspiration doesn’t come to fruition. I can't help but think we have it all wrong and that’s why I am saying no. Saying no to the idea of huge goals and saying yes to something different. I want to say no to the New Year’s Resolutions in exchange for something more balanced and long-term: a focus on cultivating habits and becoming rather than doing.

For much of my adult life, my focus has been on the end goal. Ensuring my end goal is always in mind has helped me attain many of the goals I set out to accomplish. It has also left me feeling rather shameful when I couldn’t fulfill the others. My focus was skewed. I was more focused on accomplishing a specific task and “doing” something than “becoming” something. Doing involves task completion and ticking off boxes. Working towards something and then arriving at a destination. And then what? Do I just add another goal to check off my list? This year my focus is on becoming. Through the process of becoming I am continually honing my discipline and my craft while ever-evolving and expanding into something far greater. All the while completing the same tasks I would have completed by simply “doing.” Here is an example of a doer. I set out to read 20 books in the upcoming year and with every book I read I tick off a box and then another. I read my 20 books and I accomplish my goal and then I am able to move on to something else. Now let's say my focus isn’t on the end goal rather on becoming something. I state to my friends that I am a reader. With this new identity and new excitement, I create habits and routines to support who I am becoming. I become a reader by opting out of doom-scrolling, replacing it with reading. I replace Netflix with a novel. It isn’t about ticking boxes, it's about melting into an identity that I claimed for myself.

According to studies, 80% of New Year's resolutions fail by mid-February. Whether it's hitting a specific number on the scale, ditching a bad habit, or learning a new skill, the initial excitement of the new year fades, leaving individuals overwhelmed and discouraged. Understanding why this happens is crucial if we desire to break the cycle. A few reasons why this occurs is because:

• Unrealistic Expectations: We overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in 5 years. Slow and steady wins the race, right? Many resolutions are set with unrealistic expectations. These lofty goals can lead to feelings of inadequacy and frustration when they aren't achieved quickly.
• Lack of Planning: For every journey there should be a map. Setting a resolution without a clear plan is akin to embarking on a journey without a map. Without a roadmap, individuals are more likely to lose their way and give up on their goals.
• All-or-Nothing Mentality: New Year's resolutions often foster an all-or-nothing mentality, where individuals believe they must be perfect in pursuit of their goals. This black-and-white thinking sets people up for failure, as setbacks are viewed as insurmountable obstacles.

Instead of succumbing to the seduction of the New Year's Resolution fanfare, consider adopting a mindset centered around “becoming” and building sustainable habits. By setting our focus on becoming the person we desire, we can create daily practices that align with our values and aspirations. Gradually transforming our life without the pressure of a looming deadline.

• Claim the name: What is the name of the identity you want to lean into this upcoming year. Reader, writer, teacher, speaker, fit? Think of the name for the identity that you are going to create habits and routines to support.
  Start Small: How do you eat an elephant? One small bite at a time. Rather than setting ambitious resolutions, begin with small, manageable changes. Building habits is a gradual process, and success lies in consistency over time.
• Establish a Routine: Habits thrive in routine. Create a daily schedule that accommodates the habits you want to cultivate and uplift the identity you have claimed. Readers read. Writers write. If you have climbed the name you have to claim the behavior that supports it. Consistency is key to ingraining these behaviors into your daily life.
• Focus on the Process: Shift your focus from the end goal to the process itself. Enjoy the journey of becoming the new identity. 

Breaking free from the cycle of failed resolutions is possible by claiming a new identity and focusing on habits. Shifting our mindset towards cultivating sustainable daily practices, we can become the people we have created within our imagination. Identities that reflect our values and aspirations. It's not about the destination; it's about becoming the person you want to be every day.